4e5 antics revealed: victim #7 -Desmond
---This is the FINAL chapter of "4e5 antics revealed". There are more "4e5 moments" at the end. Hope i manage to help relive the spirit of our class. Do continue tagging and have fun. I am going to be away for some time. Sorry for any offence made to the victims involved.---



NOTICE: This post is written not as an offence to my friend, Desmond. There's no direct intention of humour. I just wanna relive wad he loves to say to us and what we love to say to him. Specially for 4e5 students. The story is TOTALLY made up. No offence. The story continues after each character is added one by one.

azhar: hey, my name is azhar. i just graduated frm 2E2.

aloysius: really arh??

azhar: yeah, wad's urs?

aloysius: my name is aloysius. i have PSP and i'm gonna buy PS3.

azhar(thinking in his mind): this guy is damn rich. cool...

aloysius: u like study wad?

azhar: i like to study maths. i aint good in sciences.

aloysius: AIYA! science so easy. i last time take triple science u know!

azhar: ouh..ok...i've been failing my Physics..haizz..keep getting F9...

aloysius: GOOD GAME! i got E8 lehss...the only one ok...

azhar(thinking in his mind): Gosh..this guy is quai lan...

aloysius: nevermind..try again next time..

azhar: can i tell u something...

aloysius: what?

azhar: u and liyana can make a good couple....(hint: i sometimes disturb him say he look liek a monkey with liyana)

aloysius: U @#$#$$%$!!! (chasing me...)

azhar: hu's that? the guy with his hair and half-buttoned clothes?

aloysius: Orh that one...that one useless one..he talk rubbish one larh!

sammy: You CeeBai! , shut up lah...(hitting aloysius continuously on his back..like wad he always do in Chem class)

azhar: Aloy...how can u say like that...although yes i agree he looks like one apek(LOL!) like that..but he mite be smart..

sammy: You see! You see! I'm going to Poly u know! Fuck u lah! and Fuck Maths... i got CLB..no need to worry one larhs!

aloysius: AHAHAHAH(sarcastic laugh)..wadever larhs! Azhar..u go entertain this weird dreamer..

sammy: hi..me name is Sammy..im gonna be a bartender when i grow up...im gonna be a bboy so good like the koreans..

azhar: (looking at his overall build/body and talking in his mind) are u sure? u seem so thin? got muscles or not? gosh..my Quai Lan sifu is rite..he is indeed a dreamer..

sammy: OKlah..ive got to go..

azhar: go where?

sammy: Go SPIKE my hair..

azhar: (talking in his mind)...isn't it SPIKED already?!!! weirdo...

!!!!!!!THE CLASSROOM DOOR SUDDENLY CRASHES OPEN! BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE WHOLE CLASSROOM STARTS TO SHAKE! THE FOOTSTEPS COULD BE HEARD! THEN SUDDENNLY......

dan: Good morning class! My name is Mrs Garrison! (waving his hand...in a God-knows-what voice)

azhar: ouh...

dan: Hey you! (pointing to azhar..) why u never greet me???!! Fuck u lar! Get outof the class NOW!!

azhar: Dun wan...

dan: Wah! Now u want to act quai lan...nvm..nvm...(CATWALKING to his table as he speaks like he always does)

azhar: excuse me..but ur butt is swaying left and right..its destroying the tables on its way...

dan: Wadevalah...Woah! Aloy! I handsome rite? (he always says he's handsome in class...dun ash me why)

aloy: oklah..but i tink people see u dun look at ur face..ur fats too much lah..

dan: hey boy! (pointing to azhar again..) i handsome u know!

azhar: (talking to himself) Gosh..i seriously dun wish to comment..

dan: wad ur name? Sialan rite?

azhar: ermm no...my name is azhar

dan: ouh..i am dan the man...or dj danny or fatman..when i grow up i want to be a teacher..

azhar: Ouh great...u sure can be one from the entrance you made juz now(Note: Azhar is lying)

dan: yeah..then after i want become the Principal of this school and sack that teacher one day ah!

azhar: errmm...who?

dan: Am* a** lah! Fucking sialan that teacher! (hint: Dan hates her..pretty much)

azhar: woah..okok..

SUDDENLY, A GUY STEPS INTO THE ROOM, HOLDING A BLACK GUITAR. HE LOOKS AROUND AND SUDDENLY WENT UP TO TALK TO AZHAR.

faiz: that my friend is racist(pointing to a Physics textbook)[faiz always says things are racist..unexpainable]

azhar: ermm..but why?

faiz: i dunno...wad's ur name?

azhar: ouh..juz call me azhar...

faiz: my name Faiz but u call me, Tan. And i'm gonna be the best lawyer in Singapore.[some ppl in class call him Tan..and yeah..he dreams to be a lawyer..]

azhar: ouh..hi Tan..great to hea--- (azhar's converse cut off when faiz interfered..)

faiz: and my sis is hot...[he luvs his sis a lot..yeah]

azhar: ouh..ok...u have a blog?

faiz: yeah DUDE..it's crapmuskertiak.blogspot.com(not sure spelling.)...it's the SECOND best porn-download site. There's teen, etc but my favourite is hardcore. Dun worry, no Trojan virus. [This is true!!!!]

azhar: WOAH..ok...i have one too..

faiz: i FIGURED.

azhar: hey aloy..ur back!

ALOY COMES IN WITH HIS CHEM TEXTBOOK.

faiz: PORN![he can say this more than 10 times each day]

azhar: where???!!!

faiz: OVER THERE! PORN![told u..haiz..]

azhar: where???!!!

faiz: RACIST! PORN!ARGHH!!!!!!![and again.]

azhar: ok..that's it...i dun see any AROUSING stuff here.

faiz: THE TEXTBOOK...

aloy: ouh..hi mixed-blooded boy....this is not a Playboy or Racist magazine..it's a Chem textbook..(as he opens his book)

faiz: I'M SURE LARHSSS![he always says that to Sammy Neo..u guys should know why..LOL!]

azhar: GOSH..was this Tan guy sexually assaulted when he was a child? (talking to himself)

faiz: U know yesterday nite i dreamt i was Jay-Z and Beyonce was with me [this is a true story! Faiz is beyonce's fanatic fan!]

azhar: Ouh..i was watching soccer yesterday..

faiz: YEAH! IT'S LIKE WATCHING PORN ALL OVER AGAIN![his favourite line..]

aloy: i was playing my BRAND NEW PS3

faiz: OMG!!!!!!!!!IT'S LIKE WATCHING PORN ALL OVER AGAIN!!!![need more proof?]

azhar: Man U won too...I could not sleep after that..

faiz: WTF!!!!!!!IT'S LIKE WATCHING PORN ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!!! GET A LIFE MAN!!!![another favourite line!]

azhar: ouh..is that ur guitar?

faiz: Yeah..her name is Isabelle(not sure spelling)..i sleep, cry and masturbate(total exaggeration of how much faiz luvs his guitar) with her...[he luvs his guitar]

azhar: GOSH..explains the stains.

faiz: Oklah..i go canteen for a while..wanna eat CEE CAU FAN(not sure spelling.)[he loves cee cau fan]

azhar: Ouh...

THE BELL RANG!!! SCHOOL HAS STARTED!!! OUR FIRST LESSON WAS ADDITIONAL MATHS!!! ONE BOY WEARING TIGHT CLOTHES WENT IN!! HIS BUTT SWAYING TO THE LEFT AND RIGHT!!!

azhar: hi..wad's ur name?

jason: my name jason...hahahahahaah[ Azhar dun really recommend all to follow the way he laughs...u guys should know how he laughs...haiz..]

azhar: ouh..are u a boy?

jason: (showing that face of hatred) .... of course i am! a sexy one! AHAHAHHAHAAH [and again..the "unrecommended and quite gay" laugh]

azhar: Gosh..the way u laugh is simply like a ..nvm...(talking to himself)

SUDDENLY, A TEACHER WENT IN!!! SHE WAS WEARING A PURPLE LIPSTICK, CLOTHES AND ALSO SHOES!!! EVERYTHING PURPLE!!! [Mrs Tang is really like that..cool..most of the time all SAME colour) FAIZ AND DAN ALSO WENT IN!!!

mrs tang: Good morning class!

azhar, faiz and aloy: Good morning mrs tang!

dan: Good morning mdm lina! [Dan always greets the wrong name..haiz..sad case..]

mrs tang: ok class..today we're going to do TRIGONOMETRY!

aloy: cheyy..so easy..i close one eye also can...[the typical aloy]

faiz: Meowwww..... [the typical faiz..cat disease]

azhar: ok cher..

mrs tang: first question...wad is (tan x ) equal to?

dan: i know ! i know!

aloy: me! me!

faiz: meow! meow!

azhar: i wanna try! i wanna try!

mrs tang: hmm.....wad abt u jason?

dan: Fuck man..i raise my hand..she never call me [this always happens in class..he always says this..sad case..nvm..try again next time...]

jason: HUH? [the infamous, morally wrong blurr look...]errmmm ... (tan x) is equal to --( converse cut off!)

dan: Opposite over Behind!!! [ahaha..here comes the confusing part..pity jason! AHAHHA!]

mrs tang: Class..let's ignore Dan... [ she always says that to Dan..pity Dan...]

dan: Fuck ...(talking to himself)

aloy: y=mx + c !!! really jason! trust me! [looks like the monkey wants to join the fun too!]

faiz: Sulphuric acid + Cosine! Really Jason! [so does the "Cat"]

azhar: AAHAHAAHHAHAHAAH [ and Azhar enjoys it]

jason: Orhh.. [now..the gullible innocent look] ... the ans is (tan x) is equal to (y=mx +c) ..

aloy: AAHAHHA..GOOD GAME![azhar's quai lan sifu...received the "Superbrands" award)

faiz and azhar: (shaking our heads)

mrs tang: aiyo jason! how come this one also u dun know...haiz..what have u been doing?

dan: gaying..

jason: AAHAHAHHAAH! [jason laughs even when he's scolded or sometimes show "that look"]

dan: Gosh..Fuck man...i hate that look [he really does]

mrs tang: ok jason..come to the board and draw an isosceles triangle.

JASON STOOD UP!!! THE BUTTONS OF HIS UNIFORM SEEMS OVERSTRETCHED!!! HIS BODY SEEMED POPPING OUT!!! THEN COMES HIS TIGHT PANTS!!! THE ZIP SEEMS LIKE IT IS OPENING!!! BUT HIS CLOTHES MANAGE TO HOLD ON.....

jason: i..i...i..du..nnoo...oo...i dunno...

dan: Suck my balls larhs [one of dan's favourite lines]

faiz: haiz azhar..i tink no hope...

azhar: yeah..imagine how sad his parents would be...

aloy: yeah...if i was there, i could have answered with ease...

mrs tang: JASON! u don't know how to draw isosceles triangle????!!!!!

jason: errmm...yaaa

faiz and azhar: (once again shaking their heads)

THE BELL RANG...ADDITIONAL MATHS IS OVER...

mrs tang: ok next lesson..u muz remember...

jason: ok

(starting from this post, no colour fonts is used. Thanks!)

faiz: Woah..time is so fast..meoww....

azhar: yeah...

faiz: it's like watching porn all over again..haiz..

THEN SUDDENLY!!! SOMEONE OPENED THE DOOR!!! A RAYS OF PINK SWEPT ACROSS THE ROOM!! ALOT COUDN'T TAKE IT!!! DAN WAS BUSY EATING!!! HER BUTT WAS SWAYING TO THE LEFT AND RIGHT, CAPTURING THE HEARTS OF JASON WHO WAS SEATED BESIDE THE DOOR!!

fau: Hi class! (smiling profusely..holding her very furry pinkish wallet)

faiz: OMGosh! it's Paudusa! [this is a.k.a Madusa...we gave this name to her..ahahah] Azhar! we have to run! You can't touch her! Later ur skin will turn white [like a Pau] and ur fats will turn black! Arghh! [squeezing his face with his two bare hands like he always does in a state of utter shock)

azhar: Oh Gosh...Don't look at me Paudusa! No Please! We're still virgins! Please Paudusa!

fau: OII!! My name not Paudusa larhs! U guys so bad! My name is Fauzana!

dan: hi fauzi! [dan always calls her that]

fau: thats my father (or isit brother? lol!) larhss!

dan: whatevalah!

THEN SUDDENLY TWO GIRLS WHEN IN IN A RUSH! THEY WERE KINDA HAVING THE (USUAL) CATFIGHT! THIS IS WAD DAN, AZHAR, JASON, ALOY, FAIZ and FAU HEARD:::

jessica: can u please stop calling me RABBIT! i know u jealous i got nice teeth! Blueck! [ppl in class always disturb her that especially Dan]

poh lian: i can call anything i wan...ehehhehe [poh lian loves to laugh..dunno why..release stess perhaps]

jessica: oh reall???!!! I shall call u Ah Bao then! [i heard poh lian ias called this..eheheh]

poh lian: What?! NO!! Shut ur mouth u LEONG SANG GOON!! [another name jessica is disturbed as...haiz..]

jessica: ouh isit???!! At least i have eyes!

poh lian: huh? wad u talking? (giving that children-looking cute and blur look like she always does)

jessica: CLASS! I WANT TO TELL SOMETHING ABOUT POH LIAN!!!

azhar, faiz, aloy: WHAT? WHAT?

dan: what? she celebrate children's day? [Dan always say Poh Lian celebrate children's day..is it true?]

jessica: YOU know last time..this girl (pointing at Poh Lian) ..got one time she walking n talking then she never look in front. then she bang into a super tall guy a prefect form our sch, in fact. and her first reaction was tt she HUGGED the guy's legs!! [this is TRUE!!]

azhar: OMGosh! Isit true Poh Lian?

poh lian: WELL!! at least it's better than got SOMEONE who dreams one day that she was walking with some people and SUDDENLY EGGS starts falling from the sky! BIG EGGS SOME MORE! [this is also TRUE!!]

aloy: Gosh!

faiz: Porn!

fau: I love pink! [she really really really luvs pink]

faiz: shut up fau . i FIGURED!

jessica: and this girl luvs zhenyang! [always heard about this..wad a romantic rumour...]

poh lian: NO!!!!!!!!! please stop spreading that rumour! [...and she hates it]

jason: haizz...

SUDDENLY, SAMMY STEPS IN! BEHIND HIM IS MR LAI!!! OH NO!

dan: Woah cher..u walk like hip-hopper sia! APER SIA! [dan favourite line "APER SIA!"...and he always says mr lai walks "bumpily" like a hip-hopper]

mr lai: SHUT UP YOU! U see this stick?!!

faiz: looks like a drumstick to me..[kinda true...]

mr lai: OK! today im gonna teach u E_His!

azhar: wad abt mrs amy ang?

mr lai: she's pregnant.

fau: Woah..yeah..i'll buy her PINK baby clothes..

faiz: i WARNED u fau...

fau: i'll buy a "69" number tag for them? [the infamous favourite number of fau.]

faiz: that's better..

mr lai: OK..i got meeting NOW...later i come back..keep quiet..azhar..u as a prefect make sure everyone keeps quiet

azhar: ok..

MR LAI WENT..

azhar: ok class..IT'S PARTY TIME!

dan: Woah..Fucking corrupt sialan prefect this guy!

THEN, A GUY CAME IN. HIS FRINGE SO LOW YET SO LONG, ALMOST COVERING HIS EYES. HIS SLING BACK BESIDE HIM.

des: hey there (doing that "handshake" whenever he meets his frens) [the "handshake" is done by folding and locking ur four fingers together with ur other fren..then use ur thumb to show that that you recognise the person(lol!)]

azhar: ouh..hi..

des: aiya..i so stressed...

azhar: why?

des: got this sec 1 girl like me..but i dun like her..i got mine already..[from wad i see, Des is popular among the sec 1 chinese girls...woah..cool..]

azhar: ouh..u working..

des: yeah..but i Pon...

azhar: u Pon?

des: Pontenglah..aiyo..u so stupid sia..aper sia?

azhar: ok..so sry....

sammy: I love jasmine flowers..

azhar: oh..really?

des: wah..guai lan sia...(adjusting his fringe..yet again)

azhar: no..im juz asking (lol!)

sammy: woah..2moro i got work at Tuas..

des: lol...me too..i work i do banquet..[so sry..i forgot wad's he work as..wad ah?]

azhar: ouh..i not working...

dan & aloy: We work as Quality Controllers ok! $6 per hour ah!

fau: I work at toy r us ok! [yeah..only for special events...lmao..sry..ehehe]

faiz: hey ppl...i work at pastamania u know!

azhar: wad about u jason?

jason: ermmmmmmmsssss.....i..i.......i...

azhar: yes..common go ahead....dun be shy...

jason: i...i.....i work as...

azhar: yeah..u can do it..one more word.....breathe in and say it out..

jason: as a...

dan: Oi fucker! suck my balls lah! faster can or not??!!

aloy: ask him use gameshark?

faiz: porn...selamat hari raya! [faiz always wish ppl "hari raya" even when it is months ahead!!!! haiz....]

poh lian: speak lah jason..dun be shy..i am here...

jess: shut up..u tink u only person hu is here is it? ah bao! [here goes the friendly catfight again...]

poh lian: hey rabbit! shut up ok! i was here first!

azhar: ok..STOP IT people! Everyone...Listen here! Let Jason finish his sentence...

ALL: ok...

jason: i am working as a MODEL..

ALL: A MODEL????

des: for wad ?

jason: PLAYBOY...

ALL: Ok...that's it...we're leaving....

THE END...

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Warning: This post does not require any permission. However, if your name is there and u feel offended,etc ...do tell me.

Famous Couples of 4e5 in the year 2006:

1) Dan and Faiz:

Arguably the most explicit couple in 4e5 history, with a wide range of brave romance previewed "live" in class. The occasional kissing although makes people squirm has been rather memorable especially in the minds of the females. Attached since late February, the passion shown for this relationship by both individuals have been rather tremendous, continuing to perform illicit pleasures both openly and secretly.

2) Dan and Zhen Yang:

A star couple in the making. With many media coverage by the likes of their own classmates using the most strongest marketing tool on earth, the mouth, this couple is seen to hav prospered from scratch. With the ability to seduce each other and confront each other openly in class, this couple continues to strive as one of the most famous couples of all time.

3) Fauzana and Jega:

With many scandals in her bag, such as the ever popular secret relationship with Mr Reduan, Fauzana has taken another to her numbers. With an increasing popularity among the classmates especially among the four malay girls, Fau sets to go to greater heights with Jega. With an ever caring Jega, an all-time sexpert, this couple aint giving up to grab top honours.

Famous Makeovers of 4e5 in 2006:

1) Faris:

With a new "spike" hairstyle and a new cool image, this guy is looking to charm the likes of "ehem" in the many years to come. Although not quite favoured by some classmates, this guy juz never learn and continues to strive to be the coolest.

2) Christine:

With a new "temporary" hairstyle, a long one, Christine has shown her true lady self. But it all changed when she cut it for the Gala Dinner/Graduation Hi-Tea, disappointing the likes of Faiz who is hoping to see her wear a dress.

3) Nil

Famous conflicts of 4e5 in 2006:

1) Sammy and "you know who"

2) Azhar and "you know who"

3) Dan and "you know who"

Some of the conficts have been solved.

Check out for some "never-been-seen-before" pictures of 4e5 sent to me by Mr Lim. It would be included under the "4e5 antics revealed" - Desmond edition .

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Other "4e5 moments":

- Azhar and Hidayah:

We like to interview Uma...LOL!.. We would ask a lot of questions from topics like her boyfriend and many more. I will never forget the times when we laugh at the answers. Sometimes, Liyana would join. We're born "kepo" interviewers. Ahahaah.. Rite Hidayah?

- Peer tutoring:

Mr Lim will remember this. We had lotsa fun. Can eat and drink as we study. Good studying technique. I remember the group leaders include Aloysius, Faiz, Jessica and Iwani. Guys, did i miss anyone?

- The laboratory

The fun place for 4e5. We're mad scientists. I cans till remember Jega creating sparks by LITERALLY "rubbing" two HUGE batteries!!! LOL!! For Chem, i seat beside Sammy! ahhaah..lol...Sammy...i will remember your "I can feel the BURNING SENSATION" line AGAIN and AGAIN...Ahahaha... LOL! and we would do a teamwork, together with Desmond. Remember that Sammy and Des?

- Teacher problems

We have lotsa of problems related to teachers like Mrs Amy Ang and Mr Lee Thai Shen(not sure spelling) .. But i had a great time...Remember class?

THE END

_________________________________________________