Episode #5

a product of double A ideas

the story continues...

-faris arrives with someone beside him-

faris: wad's up guys!

ALL: wad's up man!

jason: man, who's that guy beside you?

jessica: is it true that you're gay?

azhar: fau said you're gay...is it true?

faris: me? gay? no no no...i am not and will never be gay in my life..

iwani: then why fau said you're gay?

hidayah: yeah..i wonder why...

poh lian: well..i remembered using ur com...i checked ur history and saw gay sites...care to explain that?

faris: ouh...i was doing my research in university...i had to write a research on why homosexuals become homosexuals...and btw..the guy beside me is not a guy...she's my girlfren...she juz cut her hair short and spiky...yeah..

lek wee: reminds me of christine..

faiz: i wonder where that girl went to? where she is now and many other questions..

jessica: yeah...i heard she opened her own salon...in sembawang...she sells customized wigs too..

azhar: woah..that's cool..

poh lian: but it's a pity she has a bald head now...

hidayah: OMGosh..wad happened to her?

iwani: she spoilt her hair is it?

poh lian: no...well this happened...she broke up with her boyfriend wen she discovered that her boyfriend is having an affair with a man....so she tried to commit suicide by slashing her wrists..

faiz: then wad happened?

jason: did she really do it?

poh lian: well..luckily the knife was not sharp enough...nothing much happened...but then...desperate to do sth with the knife...she used it to cut her har..she managed to get a shave and shave it...she actually bought the shave for her boyfriend..so that's what happened...

jessica: very sad story man...

azhar: i hope she's ok...

lek wee: aniwae..faris...what's that girl's name?

faris: ouh..her name is Uma...remember Uma?

azhar: Uma? hu's that girl man?

jason: Uma? Hmm...

faiz: sounds familiar...is she Indian?

jessica: lol...of course faiz...

faris: hmm...hidayah..u should remember, do u?

hidayah: Uma? hmmm..let me think....ouh yeah! yeah! i remembered...she can laugh loudly rite?

faris: yeah...u got it?! azhar...remember last time u always kepo interview her life?

azhar: OMGosh..serious? i can't remember..Uma? Uma? hu is she?

iwani: aiyo azhar...remember last time...u always ask her lots questions in class..ur best fren lah..

jessica: yeah..i remember liao...azhar..try to remember..think!

poh lian: go azhar go! (jumping around)

azhar: i can't..ok..i am very sorry...i can't remember hu Uma is...

faris: nah..it's ok...i knew it since sec 4 that ur dumb..

-suddenly, hidayah starts to move away from the group-

jessica: why are u hiding away from us hidayah?

hidayah: ermmm..nothing...

faiz: why are u covering ur boobs?

jason: yeah....why are u moving away from us..

lek wee: hidayah..no point if u bottle it up....tell us...

iwani: is there sth wrong with u?










hidayah: okok! i will tell u the truth! this boobs are FAKE! total FAKE! i lied!

ALL: what?!

azhar: how could this be?

faiz: why did u lie to us??

poh lian: yeah..why?










hidayah: look..(removing the fake boobs and throwing them away)....i juz want to look beautiful in front of u guyz after so long....i was scared u guyz would not that i am as beautiful as i am before!

iwani: i dun get it?

lek wee: me too...care to explain?

hidayah: well...i am actually a single woman..i ahv never bee married...and i have never been to UK....all that i said previously was a complete LIE!

azhar: i dun get it?! why did u do all this?!







hidayah: because i heard all of u are getting engaged..soem of u like faiz is getting married..i heard fau has her own butt solidification product...i was SO JEALOUS! i wanted to be like u guys! i am sorry..(tears running down her cheeks)

poh lian: it's ok..i understand u...

jessica: yeah..we understand u..

hidayah: no u don't! u guys have never been in my shoes...u see why can;t i be as lucky as all of u! u have got ur loved ones...but wad do i have?! nothing! i hate myself! why can't i have a peaceful relationship like u guyz?! why?! i have broken upmore than 10 times...i feel useless...

azhar: no hidayah...dun ever say that..perhaps u have not found ur true love...everything is in GOD's hands...

faris: yeah..chill hid...chill....we'll always be there for u!

iwani: yeah..

jason: so where did that boob idea came from?

hidayah..i..i..i..juz wanna matchup with my girlfren, fau..i wan to look like her...i wan to as attractive as her...(more tears roll down her cheeks)

poh lian: everyone is beautiful....let it be in the inside or outside...

lek wee: yeah..common..dun cry girl...cheer up..

iwani: yeah..cheer up...

azhar: btw..why u lied u had an old husband then?

hidayah: ouh..i wanted to be as good as other girlfren, iwani...i tot if she manages to seduce such mancho man like man...i wanted to be like her...i a sorry guys..everything is a lie! i hate myself! i am leaving!

faris: no plz dun go! plz...i have sth to tell u too...sth to tell everyone..

jason: what now???

lek wee: yeah..wad now?

faiz: speak faris...

faris: this girl beside me is not Uma...i lied...i had no girlfrens..

azhar: what?!

iwani: now why are u lying?!

faris: i was embarrassed to come faiz's wedding as a single man...juz look...faiz is getting married..azhar and lek wee soon...i juz felt i was not as good as them..i lost my self-esteem..(starts to cry softly)

azhar: no faris! what are u talking abt?! ur a great person...common...wipe those tears off ur face!

faiz: yeah man..maybe ur time haven come..u'll meet someone great one day...

jessica: yeah..chill...

faris: u guyz are lying! azhar, ur lying! i hate all of u! i am not a great person! do u know how it feels liek to be taunted in class?!! do u how it fees like to be called fuck face last time???!! do u how it feels like to be called shorty??!! i am useless!!! i am a nobody!!!

lek wee: wad the fuk u talking abt..we were juz kidding last time..chill man..

jason: yeah..juz look at me...i am a better person now..take it easy..

poh lian: yeah...let's start anew...

azhar: yeah..

faris: (face turns red) NO! NO! NO! u talk too much, azhar! fuck u! hu do u tink u are?! u tink ur one BIG-SHOT in class, huh?! u tink u were a prefect..u deserve more respect?! ur no better, azhar! truth is..ur as corrupted as we are! damn hypocrite!

faiz: he..watch ur mouth ok..Gosh..wad's happening to this wonderful reunion?!

poh lian: yeah..chill everyone...

jessica: yeah...stop insulting each other..

azhar: forget it..i am leaving..hypocrites are not allowed in this building...goodbye everyone..

hidayah: hey wait..

jason: wait man..

faris: leave him! let him go! he dun deserve to be here!

faiz: ok..common ppl...stay cool...wad's happening man?

jessica: yeah man..chill everyone...

hidayah: guyz..aren't u guyz mad at me?

lek wee: no..of course not..we understand ur situation..although i have to confess tha i miss those huge boobs...where do u get those from..

hidayah: Mustapha Centre...level 2...u go straight, then turn left...

jessica: lek wee...hehe...eyes on mine..and only mine...thnk u...

faris: well faiz...how's ur wedding..

faiz: postponed...shit happens...

jessica: yeah...faiz, u sure are a strong man..i admire u..

poh lian: me too..

iwani: yeah...especially me..

faiz: excuse me, iwani...can u repeat?

iwani: hmmm...i said especially me...why? (blushes)

faiz: nothing..u sound sweet...

faris: ehem..excuse me...iwani..are u free today?

poh lian: faris! it's rude of u to juz interfere in their convers! shameless freak!

jason: btw..poh lian...u fee after this?

poh lian: Ewww...no..no..and no!

iwani: well faris..i am free tonight...why?

faris: wanna go dinner together?

iwani: hmmm...where?

faris: we'll tink of it later..

faiz: iwani...u can go with me too..let's go to Plaza Singapura...wanna come?

faris: why are u trying to snatch her away from me?!

jason: faris! u and ur ego!

hidayah: yeah..stop it faris! u can go out with me if u wan...as frens that is..

lek wee: yeah..good idea..

jessica: dun quarrel again, plz....

faiz: i was juz asking her out as a fren! nth much! wad's up with u?!

faris: wad's up with me?! i wan to be the COOLEST guy here! i have changed! look at me now! spiky hair! 30 cm taller! and many more additional features! i wan to be the centre of attention!

hidayah: the faris i know is someone caring and nice..ur appearance might be better..but ur character now simply sucks..i am disappointed...

faiz: ur no longer the faris that i know!

jessica: hate u!

faris: u see..u see!!ur always siding this irritating bullshit chairman of urs! and that stinking pathetic prefect hu juz got his ass kicked out! u favour those ppl! ur alwys on their side! why?! why?!

faiz: hey..watch ur mouth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! all the things that i do for u guyz are sincere!

jessica: ur too rude, faris!

poh lian: i will tell that secret of urs to everyone!!!!!!!

ALL: secret?!

to be continued...



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